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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28157355">Body Dysphoria</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/jayphrodite/pseuds/jayphrodite'>jayphrodite</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The things he can't say [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>DC Extended Universe, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Hood: Lost Days</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 17:53:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>413</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28157355</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/jayphrodite/pseuds/jayphrodite</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jason Todd looks in the mirror and the only thing he vaguely recognizes is his face, just from afar. From far, he looks like the potential man Jason Todd could have grown up to be. The shape of his eyes, the nose, his jaw, it camouflaged so smoothly. </p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The things he can't say [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2054970</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Body Dysphoria</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="">
  <p>Jason Todd despises his own body.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It’s not about muscle mass, or bone structure, but about his skin, so unreliably clear and shameful, filled with the scars of a man he does not know. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Missing scars, birthmarks, moles, identifying means that once could have made him Jason Todd. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Every day, he strips off every layer of clothing he has. He stands in front of the mirror, and he resists the urge to break it. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>It’s every day that he wants to convince himself that the mirror is lying to him. He doesn’t really look like that. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He still is Jason Todd. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He closes his eyes and he sees them, the scar on his left ring finger, from a stapler when he was four, the stab wound from his upper thigh, the one on his stomach from the same cause. The mole on his upper lip, the multiple ones on his back. The birthmark on the back of his right hand, the cigarette burns on his arms.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>He opens his eyes, he looks at his arms, his finger, his thigh. His stomach, his forearms. He turns and looks at the reflection of his back. The things that made him ‘Jason Todd’, they’re not there. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>They haven’t been there, not for a while. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>And as horrible as his memories were, as hard as making it past the hour used to be, they were his, it was all his. Those scars, those birthmarks, they reminded him of who he was, of who he could have been. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Jason Todd looks in the mirror and the only thing he vaguely recognizes is his face, just from afar. From far, he looks like the potential man Jason Todd could have grown up to be. The shape of his eyes, the nose, his jaw, it camouflaged so smoothly. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>From close, it’s all different, so redundantly wrong. His lips lost the simple part when he relaxed, his nose lost its slight hook. His eyes aren’t the blue they used to be. They’re not simple, they’re not innocent, they’re not undoubtedly blue. They’re fierce, tainted, broken. They have sparks of white, black, green.</p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>The green that changed him, the green that stole from him. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Every day, Jason Todd strips from all his clothes as he looks at himself in the mirror. This man, this body, it doesn’t feel like him. Each day, he fights the urge to break the mirror. The mirror that lies to him. </p>
</div><div class="">
  <p>Jason Todd despises his own body. </p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>...*jazz hands* follow me on tumblr (@/woahjaybird) for more!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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